Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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