so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
