apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
