I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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