I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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