handjob tips. give me some.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
