Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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