His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
