today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
