sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
