You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
