i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
