Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
