Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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