OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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