hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize