what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
