I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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