I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You left your phone here
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