Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize