so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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