I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
