Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
