i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
