two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
