you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
