How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
