he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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