I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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