Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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