We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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