It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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