i don't like sucking hair
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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