the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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