you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
