But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
