Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
50% drunk capacity currently
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
