the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
