Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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