It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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