Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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