Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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