captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
