the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
