i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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