I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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