Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
