I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So much rum. So many feels.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
