Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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