HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
