So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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