I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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