did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
