I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
