D3 body, D1 cock
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
