Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
