The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
