This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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