porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
