If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
