so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
