Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
