He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
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