I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
