She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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