remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
