I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
