just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
