They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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