Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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