Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
