Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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