Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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