I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
